How We Should Treat Our Mom

So how do we treat our moms? How do we treat our wives?

1. Honor them.

Exodus 20:12 says, “Honor your father and your mother so that you may have a long life in the land that the LORD your God is giving you.”

Proverbs 31:28 says, “Her children rise up and call her blessed; her husband also praises her:”

And so, maybe there’s a better way to show this by giving you the opposite. Years ago, the comic strip Calvin and Hobbes showed Calvin writing a Mother’s Day card for his mom. He writes in the card, “I was going to get a card with hearts of pink and red, but then I thought, I'd rather spend the money on me instead. It's awfully hard to buy things when one's allowance is so small. So I guess you're pretty lucky I got you anything at all. Happy Mother's Day. There, I said it. I'm done. So, how about getting out of bed and fixing breakfast for your son?”

If I had said something like that, I wouldn't be here. Not a chance. My mom would have wanted to kill me. My dad actually would have.

But we honor our moms. But what does that practically look like today? Go where she wants to go, do what she wants to do, without the eye rolls, the attitude, or being on your phone. Just be present. When it comes to my mom, her greatest joy is when all the kids are together. The whole family is around, and they're there, not just occupying a room, but they're there together, enjoying company. Be there, be present.

2. Give moms a reason to rejoice.

Proverbs 10:1 says, “A wise son brings joy to his father, but a foolish son, heartache to his mother.”

If your lifestyle brings heartbreak to your mom, there's a really good chance you need to look in the mirror and talk to God about what you're doing. Because no one wants better for you than your mom. Every mom wants her kids to have it better than she had it, do better than she did, and hope they get all the things their mom ever wished and more. Moms want only better for their kids than what they had. So, if your lifestyle is your mom constantly saying, “Man, it breaks my heart the path you're going down,” there's a real good reason why she's saying that. Maybe take a second to look in the mirror.

You have three obligations as a follower of Jesus. Honor God, first and foremost. Honor your spouse if that applies to you, and then honor your parents. There are more people whom you're called to honor, but those are definitely your top three in that order. So honor your mom.

Proverbs 15:20 says, “A wise son brings joy to his father, but a foolish man despises his mother.”

Proverbs 23:25 says, “Let your father and mother have joy, and let her who gave birth to you rejoice.”

Be the type of kid your mom can brag on. And when I say kid, I mean if you still have parents, you are a kid. Be the type of kid your parents can brag on. Because here's the thing, a promotion at work, a fancy car, a big house, those are things to be proud of, but that doesn't speak anything to who you are. You don't have to be a good person to get those things. The rain falls on the just and the unjust. Be the type of kid your mom could say, “Do you know the kind of quality of character my kid is? The person of integrity. What they've walked through and how they've endured that.” Be that type of person your mom can brag on. It's not about the stuff.

3. Ensure she is cared for.

John 19:25-27 says, “Standing by the cross of Jesus were his mother, his mother’s sister, Mary the wife of Clopas, and Mary Magdalene. When Jesus saw his mother and the disciple he loved standing there, he said to his mother, ‘Woman, here is your son.’ Then he said to the disciple, ‘Here is your mother.’ And from that hour the disciple took her into his home.”

There will likely come a time, and some of you may be in that season, when you may have to care for your mom. It will not be convenient. It will not be easy. The rumor is, when we were born, it was not convenient and we were not easy. And I'm not going to dare tell you what that means for you and your family. Here's your godly responsibility. Ensure she's cared for.

That can look like a lot of things. That can look like bringing her into your home. That can look like possibly some kind of assisted living situation. Your only responsibility is to ensure she is cared for. Do your homework to make the best decision for your family and for her.

So, husbands, how do we honor our wives? Now, I want to preface this by saying that I have been the title husband for 15 days. Some of you have had gas in the tank of your car longer than I've been married. At this point, if you don't commute far, that's probably very true. And so, as humbly yet as boldly as I can say it, there is a challenge to husbands.

Ephesians 5:25-28 says, “Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself for her to make her holy, cleansing her with the washing of water by the word. He did this to present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or anything like that, but holy and blameless. In the same way, husbands are to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself.”

We're pretty familiar with hearing that verse if you've been around church any amount of time. However, Jeremy mentioned this next verse last week, and it doesn't get a lot of love because it's easier to bury it than to apply it.

1 Peter 3:7 says, “Husbands, in the same way, live with your wives in an understanding way, as with a weaker partner, showing them honor as coheirs of the grace of life, so that your prayers will not be hindered.”

Can I just be honest? There is a higher calling on the man in marriage than the wife. Not because the man is more important, more valuable, not at all. However, the wife is called to submit, the man is called to die. What is a higher ask? There's no verse in the Bible that says wives, treat your husband right, or your prayers will be hindered. 1 Peter 3:7 very much exists. Husbands, you better honor your wives and treat them with respect as coheirs to the grace of life, or your prayers will be hindered.

There is a higher calling on the man in marriage than the woman. Why? Marriage, though symbolic, holds very real weight in God's eyes. The man is supposed to symbolically represent Christ. The woman is supposed to symbolically represent the church. Who had the greater responsibility? Christ. So there is a higher calling on the man in marriage when it comes to these roles. So husbands, how are we doing?

Can we put a value on a mom? Nope. But salary.com can apparently. They said if you took the average annual salary for a stay-at-home mom, what would that look like? And so what they did is they took all the different roles of a stay-at-home mom, from everything like CEO all the way down to if she helps with the cleaning and the driving and the cooking. So a stay at home mom works a easy breezy 104 hours a week. That's pretty accurate. And the low ball salary for a stay at home mom would be $179,000 a year, conservatively, depending on where you live. And if you add a couple roles to it that are very regular for moms to be in that role, you can make 250 grand, wives. You're welcome for that ammo, husbands. I'm sorry, but that is what salary.com had to say.

Kids, how are we doing? Again, kids is everyone in this room. Do we honor and respect our mom? Do we honor and respect the memory of our mom?

Husbands, how are we doing? Do we honor and respect our wives? Do we praise her and give her words of affirmation, and love her unconditionally? Maybe a very sobering thought is, do we set the example for our sons and daughters? The stats show your son will love his future wife in the way you've loved your wife, how you loved their mom. So, how you show love to your wife is the example you're setting to your son. But what's really, really either exhilarating or terrifying is that your daughter is going to be looking for love in the same way you have loved your wife and how you treated their mom. That is what love looks like to them. Husbands, how are we doing?

Moms, thank you for all you do, for all the things you get right, for all the things you're trying to do as right as you can. Perhaps you're human, and maybe there are some things you are messing up. But the bottom line is we are grateful for you, we need you, and we are blessed because of you.