What To Do When Pain Is Persistent
When you go through persistent pain, understand that…
1. Most friends will not continue to sympathize with you; be tolerant of them anyway.
It’s amazing how friends can be sympathetic for about a week. But then they forget. They go on with their lives. They stop calling. They stop checking in on you.
In my experience with grief, I’ve learned that some friends will drift away while others will surface to be there to comfort you. Some are gifted to encourage you during those rough times, and others seem to disappear. But they’ll be back again. Hold on to those friends. At the same time, I would encourage you to develop some new friends who do understand what you’re going through. Find a support group. Find someone who has gone through a similar experience, and you’ll find understanding and comfort from that person. But don’t expect more out of any of your friends than they’re able to deliver. Don’t risk lifelong friendships by unloading all your frustration, grief, and depression on one friend alone. It’s not fair to them or to you.
Galatians 6:2 says…
Carry one another’s burdens…
However, in verse 5, it says that each person is to carry his own load. On the one hand, lean on your friends to help. But on the other hand, be responsible for your part to carry the load with God’s help.
When pain is persistent, understand that…
2. God will often be silent and seem distant to you; trust him anyway
Job kept his faith in God. Look at some of the things he says…
Even if he kills me, I will hope in him. I will still defend my ways before him. (Job 13:15)
But I know that my Redeemer lives, and at the end he will stand on the dust. (Job 19:25)
However, Job didn’t understand why God seemed so far away.
Why do you hide your face and consider me your enemy? (Job 13:24)
I cry out, “Violence!” but get no response; I call for help, but there is no justice. (Job 19:7)
If only I knew how to find him, so that I could go to his throne. 4 I would plead my case before him and fill my mouth with arguments. (Job 23:3)
If I go east, he is not there, and if I go west, I cannot perceive him. When he is at work to the north, I cannot see him; when he turns south, I cannot find him. Yet he knows the way I have taken; when he has tested me, I will emerge as pure gold. (Job 23:8-10)
I cry out to you for help, but you do not answer me; when I stand up, you merely look at me. (Job 30:20)
One of the most difficult tests of faith is to wait for God when answers don’t come. How do you react when life falls apart, the pain is persistent, and there’s no sign that God even hears your prayers? How do you know what you’re supposed to do? That’s when you have to rely on God’s promises, not signs or feelings. There’s a big difference between God’s silence and God’s absence.
Psalm 34:18 assures us that God is closer to us in times of trouble.
Hebrews 11:6 tells us that it’s faith that pleases God. It’s faith that trusts in God regardless of how we’re feeling.
The Cherokee Indians had a unique rite of passage for their boys who turned 12 years old. They would blindfold them, lead them deep into the woods, and place them by a tree. If the boy sat there alone all night without removing his blindfold, he was considered a man. Could you imagine doing that all by yourself all night, blindfolded, hearing the leaves rustle and wolves howling, knowing that predators must be close by? But in the morning, when the boy removed his blindfold, he would be surprised to see his father just a few feet away, weapon in hand ready to protect him. The father would be there all night protecting his son.[1]
When the dangers of this dark world threaten you, have confidence that your Heavenly Father, though unseen, is near, protecting you in ways you’re not even aware of.
When pain is persistent understand that…
3. You will probably struggle with bitterness; be faithful anyway
We see Job’s bitterness scattered throughout this book. He says things like…
… My eye will never again see anything good. (Job 7:7)
My spirit is broken. My days are extinguished. A graveyard awaits me. (Job 17:1)
Therefore I will not restrain my mouth. I will speak in the anguish of my spirit; I will complain in the bitterness of my soul. (Job 7:11)
My days have slipped by; my plans have been ruined, even the things dear to my heart. (Job 17:11)
As God lives, who has deprived me of justice, and the Almighty who has made me bitter, (Job 27:2)
Job battled bitterness toward God, resentment toward his friends, despair toward life, and even thoughts of suicide. When you’re down, Satan loves to plant thoughts of self-destruction in your mind. He tries to convince you that everyone would be better off if you ended it all. But that’s never the right solution. That’s never God’s will. That’s never a shortcut to peace. When you despair of life, even for a long time, trust that somehow God’s promises will hold true.
Romans 8:28…
We know that all things work together for the good of those who love God, who are called according to his purpose.
I find it encouraging that the New Testament refers to Job as an example of faith in the face of suffering.
James 5:11 says…
See, we count as blessed those who have endured. You have heard of Job’s endurance and have seen the outcome that the Lord brought about—the Lord is compassionate and merciful.
You know what that tells me? It tells me that God understands and even expects us to battle doubt and despair when life falls apart.
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[1] https://cherokeebillie.wordpress.com/2014/11/15/native-indian-rite-of-passage/
Unless otherwise noted, all Scripture quotations are taken from the Christian Standard Bible®, Copyright © 2017 by Holman Bible Publishers. Used by permission. Christian Standard Bible® and CSB® are federally registered trademarks of Holman Bible Publishers.